Although each Yearly Meeting throughout the Quaker World publishes a book of Faith and Practice, learning the "rules" for Quaker Meeting and for Quaker process can be a bit of a mystery.  To begin with, there may not seem to be any.  But lack of rules is not the meaning of "unprogrammed."  Although the rules are few, simple, and unspoken, they do exist, hallowed by nearly 400 years of experience.

The first rule for Meeting for Worship is that it begins when the first arrival enters the Meeting room and sits down. That is why, if we greet each other at all at the beginning of Meeting, we do so surreptitiously once we are in the meeting room. A brief glance, a quick smile, a nod, may be all we share.  Some worshippers will already be into the process of centering down, eyes closed, attention turned inward.

And that brings us to the second rule. The first task Quakers undertake when meeting begins is to center down, to still the clamor of the world, to turn our attention to the inner voice. That is why messages are usually not spoken until twenty minutes or more into the worship hour. One exception will be when a message is intended for the children who leave meeting after the first ten minutes.

The third rule is the hardest to explain, the hardest to figure out.  How do you recognize when the Spirit is prodding you to speak?  One way is by experience. We began to be called Quakers because we often quaked when we spoke in Meeting.  If you have had that happen to you, you know what I mean.  But we are modern people now and sometimes the Spirit doesn’t shake us quite so hard.  How do you know if you never start to shake?  One way is to query any message you suddenly have an urge to deliver.  Is it meant for you alone?  Is it better kept until announcements at the close of Meeting?  Should it be seasoned just a little longer?

The fourth rule is particularly important and surprisingly hard to remember: never, ever “walk on” the previous speaker.  It is essential to allow a space to open up between messages.  There are two important reasons for this.  First, everyone will hear a message in his or her own way.  They should be allowed to do that before another speaker intrudes on their private thoughts with his or her own reaction.  Second, allowing a space to open between messages allows worshippers to re-center after each message is spoken.  It is that re-centering that maintains the spirit of worship.

Even though the first spoken message should not be interpreted as a signal that it’s now time to talk, it does play an important role.  Ideally it should set a theme for any subsequent message.  If this isn’t quite a rule, it is at least a worthy goal.  It is fun occasionally to watch a second speaker wander off in an entirely different direction, only to have a third or fourth speaker tie them together.  Then we have the satisfying experience Quakers call a gathered meeting.

Meeting ends when the clerk signals that the hour is accomplished.  Different meetings can have different customs here, but our  meeting shares handshakes, names, and announcements.

It can be both enlightening and fun to articulate these mostly unspoken rules.